Reflections of a wannabe Yogi

Raj wrote this...

By the time I got to the free class, it was pretty well jam packed. I found a spot to place my rented mat and laid my towel over it, and water bottle alongside, and stood facing the mirrored front wall. I was already sweating and we hadn't even started. It was Bikram yoga and the room was heated.

The instructor, a big guy welcomed us and told us that if we had to leave the room, we were to leave quietly. He started us off with the breathing exercise. Hey, this isn't too bad, I thought. Then we started the different poses or asanas and it got tougher. By now I was drenched, sweating pofusely, hands and feet were slippery. Fifteen minutes into the class, I looked towards the door. I was in the middle of the room. The mind game had begun, "To be or not to be a yogi." To leave now, I'd have to weave through too many people to get to the door. If I left, I'd always remain a wannabe yogi, besides something told me to stay. It was like a faraway (distant) voice, or even a whisper from the heavens. I'd always told my three children that most of life's battles are won and lost in the mind. I decided then that I would stay and win this one for her and her.

Every now and then I'd sneak a peek to the sides and couldn't help admiring some of the other yogis and yoginis, so majestic in their asanas.

I'll get there, too, InshAllah, I told myself. Believe you me, it wasn't easy but I hung in there. After each asana, I'd put my palms together and quietly give thanks. The instructors words, "Change and relax" were music to my ears. "Party time" as the instructor announced the first official water break. Water had never tasted sweeter than the sips I had that day. I savored each sip with gratitude.

As we progressed through the asanas, I began to love the word "Savasana," that's when we lay down on our backs and completely relaxed. The final pose of the evening, sitting Japanese style, and exhaling fast, getting rid of all the toxins. Finally, the most welcome words, "Lie down and completely relax." As I lay down, eyes closed, hands on my chest, joined in quiet thanksgiving. I had made it through my first ninety minutes of yoga with the feeling that there is hope yet! Praise the Lord!